Die Richtlinien

The rules of the Besiex corporation for the management, motivation, and control of its members and for the high quality production of work.


  1. Budget for Efficient Working. All employees (in every position) get $150/month allowance to spend towards things which will improve their work performance or environment (related books, related software, a plant, etc.). Employees cannot directly choose how the money is spent, but they can make suggestions. Money not spent accrues for future use.
  2. Canines Required. All employees are required to own at least one dog. Failure to own a dog incurs a $50/month penalty. This penalty will be donated to a dog related charity in their name.
  3. Our Leader Sees All. All employees are required to display a framed portrait of Otto von Besiex in their home office, overlooking their workspace. Failure to comply incurs a $100/month penalty.
  4. Desktop Bonus. Employees are given a bonus of $25/month if they use one of the approved Besiex desktop backgrounds on all their primary PCs (those used for work).
  5. Intercom. All employees are required to have the Besiex intercom system operable during work hours. Operable means with speaker on at suitable volume to hear announcements and respond to requests. Failure to comply imposes a $200/month penalty.
    1. Besiex Announcement Schedule
    • 9:30 – 9:35 am : von Besiex work day start music
    • 9:35 am : Morning announcements
    • 2 minute hypnosis session.
    • 9:37 – 9:40 am : Morning calisthenics (3 minutes)
    • 5:30 pm : End of work bell
    • 5:31 pm : End of work announcements
  6. Airing of Dissent. Everyone is required to submit one piece of pointed criticism each Monday.
  7. Forming of the Rules. Everyone is required to submit one proposal for a new rule or modification of an existing rule the first Monday of each month.

Weekly Schedule

Monday – Thursday

10:30 – 10:45: Morning Review. All hands.


11:00 – 18:00: Meeting day. All Hands.



These rules maintained by the office of Otto von Besiex and enforced by the Dammergrupe.


We take certain playful liberties with the foundational and cultural history of our company. But on technical matters, we tell no tales.